KickstarterForum.org

[ToyRocketStudios]

Hey everyone, I wanted to thank you for your feedback on where we went wrong with our initial campaign- particularly to Charles, whose honesty (while a bitter pill to swallow) was extremely helpful in revamping our Kickstarter page.

While it is still a work in progress, we hope to re-launch within the week. Would you guys mind looking through the page and give me your thoughts?

Here is the link to our preview:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/to ... n=31743bd4


ANY feedback will be greatly appreciated. Mike and I have been hard at work for over a year on this now and really want it to be a success.

Thanks in advance,

Greg

[tripp]

When can you re post a project?

[ToyRocketStudios]

You can re-post a project anytime, but it is not as simple as clicking a "relaunch" button, you have to start a new project and fill everything out a second time. In our case, we changed just about everything to improve it. We also took the time to revise our product.

[tripp]

Cool... so you can try again if they see changes.

[tripp]

Looks like a hit to me...esp only $10 ill buy some books when u go live

[Charles]

Hey everyone, I wanted to thank you for your feedback on where we went wrong with our initial campaign- particularly to Charles, whose honesty (while a bitter pill to swallow) was extremely helpful in revamping our Kickstarter page.

While it is still a work in progress, we hope to re-launch within the week. Would you guys mind looking through the page and give me your thoughts?

Here is the link to our preview:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/to ... n=31743bd4


ANY feedback will be greatly appreciated. Mike and I have been hard at work for over a year on this now and really want it to be a success.

Thanks in advance,

Greg

I remember your project, but I had to look up what it was that I had said about it, previously. Bitter pill, indeed! You guys got off pretty light, I thought. But, here's the link to what I had said about your project page's previous incarnation, to make it easier for people following this new thread to know what I had said.

http://www.kickstarterforum.org/post14650.html#p14650

I definitely think that the new project page beats the old project page, hands down. But, here's some comments about specific things about your new draft project page.

1. I like the image of your book with the hand holding it, but I'm not a big fan of your new project image, even though it is derived from that same book image. The cleverness of the SNO worked into the paper snowflake gets obscured, somewhat, by the play button for your project video. Even beyond that, though, I just don't think that that particular image will reach out and grab people's eyes, as you want them to be grabbed.

2. Your project is inextricably linked to Christmas, whether you like or not, and regardless of whether it's what you intend or not. Yet, your new project page, for all its improvements, yields a rather sterilized version of Christmas, visually speaking. Take the following image, for example:



That's all fine and dandy, and sure, you even have text on your project page which states, and I quote, "Who is SNO for? It is for everyone. We tested our book on people ages 8 through 60 with great success. Everyone was able to create snoflakes without any assistance (we did supervise all children using scissors, but did not assist them).

Not only does SNO cover a wide age range, we also offer a variety of snoflakes for different holiday celebrations. Our snoflakes offer a balanced combination of religious and secular holiday themes!"

Really?? It's for everyone, including children? So, tell me then, in visual terms, where are the children on your new project page?

What was it that Karen Stumpf said, over on the Toy Rockets Facebook page? I believe that it was this, "I am definitely still interested! The school agers at my daycare will LOVE this!"

Yet, nary a child in sight! Nowhere are they to be visually found. Your new project page is kid-less. Tsk, tsk, tsk! That'll get you on Santa's naughty list for Kickstarter creators, for sure.

3. You guys, Mike and Greg, are smart. You're clever - just look at how the name of your project gets worked into your current project image, just as it was worked into the last project image. Yet, Karen Stumpf has enthusiasm. Enthusiasm trumps intelligence, where creating a crowd from snow dust is concerned.

4. I have watched every video on your new draft project page, today. Every last one of them. They don't look bad - BUT...as the old lady asked about Wendy's hamburgers, years ago, where's the beef? The beef, in this particular instance, is fun. Thus, where's the fun?

If your Snobook is so easy to use, then don't just tell us that - SHOW US! I want to see kids creating snowflakes with it. To me, that would be far more visually persuasive than watching two guys with college degrees do it. How about one of those sped-up videos, the 41 second length ones, with lots of different people creating snowflakes using your Snobook.

5. The two mugshots of the project creators inside of those diamonds looks good. But, twain does not a crowd make. In its current incarnation, your project page is heavily lacking in visual social elements - namely, of people. I don't simply mean of people posing for a camera, but rather, of people being people. Where are the photos, even inside of diamonds (or perhaps inside of snowflakes), that are cutting out or holding or proudly showing off what they made using your Snobook?

6. Look at your new draft project page, and tell yourself what the most fun visual elements on it are. Not what visual elements look nice, but rather, which of them scream fun? I counted exactly zero.

7. You do realize, don't you, that those snowflakes could be lined together to form a chain? You could also have a big bunch of people, with each one holding up their snowflake that they created. But, what you could have did, and what you actually did, are not necessarily one and the same thing.

8. Your new goal is thirteen thousand dollars less than your last goal. That will definitely make attaining your funding goal a more easily accomplished feat.

9. Do yourself a favor, and read the article contained in the following link:

http://kickstarterguide.com/2012/10/04/why-your-project-wont-go-viral-a-look-at-how-ideas-spread-online/

You see, you have to cross a chasm (multiple chasms, technically), if you want to maximize the size of your crowd. One way to do that is by tapping into pre-existing streams. One of those streams is nostalgia.

How do you intend to do that, using this particular project? Or do you? On top of whatever else that you intend to do, here's a thought that came to me a few moments ago.

Because your project is inextricably linked to Christmas, instead of calling it Sno, why not call it ChristmaSno, instead (or some close approximation, thereof)?

Here's why.

Have you ever watched that animated short that comes on television at Christmas time? I'm talking about Frosty the Snowman. What was it that Santa Claus told the little girl in that film?

"Don't cry, Karen, Frosty's not gone for good. You see, he was made out of Christmas snow and Christmas snow can never disappear completely."

You see, guys, Christmas snow is special snow - plus, it's magical snow. Is your Sno special and magical?

Your project is special, right? I mean, isn't that what you actually feel? Isn't that what you want project viewers to feel, also? And what's more special than snow on Christmas day?

10. If you do stick with a variant of your current project image, I would encourage you to consider employing the services of the fellow, below, but in more of a close-up shot:

[Charles]

Sort of as an aside, I think that the snowflake that has the most visual interest to it is the Stars one. They present great geometric interest.

[Charles]

I checked out your project page, again, tonight, after I got home.

This new project image is finally getting somewhere, visually.




Just keep in mind that the play button for the project video will obscure the letter "O" in Sno, as shown below.




But, the thumbnail image for your project is clearly legible at the reduced size:



I do think that this iteration of your project image is your best, to date.