KickstarterForum.org

Hello everyone. I am developing a Role Playing Adventure game designed for mobile devices. So far the development is coming along great! I am doing a lot of research on how to become successful on kickstarter. Now am not going for a crazy amount of money. I am going just for the development fees that I have to pay to google play, amazon, apple etc which I do explain on the kickstarter page.

I have done a lot of research and I really don't see a whole lot of full blown 3d games, let alone RPG Adventure Genres. My goal is to develop old school style like the great classics! Zelda for example is a big inspiration for me on this game.

The reason why I am developing it for the mobile device is also explained. So am really just looking for feedback at this time on what everyone thinks. So far I have test the game out on a 3 year old Kindle fire, a Samsung galaxy S4, The New LG phone, and on a 3 year old Ipod touch. Its working out great, but I will also have the game for PC/MAC/Linux as well.

So please any feedback would be great!
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/75 ... n=fd0d8c49

Interesting. Ok few things from me:

1) There are too many... words in your description. If I was you I would edit about half of them out. Stick to some really cool points and sell it. People don't want every detail but you can easily edit it to keeping all the good points. Keep some of the other stuff for updates.
2) I really like that you tell exactly what the funds are for!
3) Video is pretty good. Why don't you make an appearance? Would be good to see the developer behind. Your character seems to be always moving backwards through!
4) You reference 'Mom and Dad' a few times in your description. Remove all of these. I don't know anything about you but reading this makes you sound 14. This may or may not be the case but you don't want backers getting this impression.
5) Sometimes I feel you are trashing other things rather than selling your own thing. Put it this way.... your opening is this:

"Remember the good old days when video games were simple, had adventure, not over complicated and just plan fun? Remember playing classic games?!

Wouldn't it be nice to play a full blown adventure on your phone or other mobile device without having to carry around a device designed specifically for gaming?

Have you ever gone on a trip before and you can't bring that awesome adventure game with you because you don't have enough room to bring your video gaming system, let alone you need to find a TV to plug it into?

Or if you have a portable gaming system you still have to make room for that as well, plus the charging cord plus the game. It is still one more thing to carry.

What if that one device could be your cell phone. Am sure you don't leave home without it.

How many full blown 3D interactive adventure games are their on the mobile market?

Not very many, and the ones that are on the market don't offer the quality and experience that we are delivering. PLUS most games that are on the mobile market are flooded with API marketing. Now that is a real problem.

I don't, and am sure you don't either want to pay money to just advance in the game you are playing, and its not like your going to pay once, odds are if you paid once, your going to be paying again and again, and for what? Just to advance?

Well if you do that, that is fine. You work hard for your money right? But what happens when your kids ask you to make an API purchase for the game they are playing just so the can advance through the game, or they can't advance anymore because they don't have enough friends playing the same game.

Maybe you or your kids have a video game system and the newest game comes out, but that means Dad or Mom has to shell out an easily $50 dollars to get it being a new title.

This is all a real problem, and we are hear with a solution.

If you have experienced any of the above than "The Sacred Stone: A Story Adventure" is the game for you! "


I would change that whole thing to:


"Remember the good old days when video games were simple, were adventurous and just plain fun? Remember classic gaming?! Well then "The Sacred Stone: A Story Adventure" will rock your world! Experience a brand new gorgeous 3D gaming environment on mobile and tablets while fighting Trolls, badguys and other badguys all the time collecting stuff and other stuff."


Elevator Pitch.



Hope this helps.

For such a slick looking game, $600 is a tiny amount. Let me know when your live and I'll throw you a few quid. Best of luck!

Hey ZompireWolf!

I really appreciate the advice and I will do what you suggest! I do agree there is just a lot of stuff in there that shouldn't be in there. MY wife spent about an hour and a half editing it which I felt bad for about an hour ago, so am sure she would agree with you on this as well. So am going to use it!

Yeah am not asking for a crazy amount of money, am being really honest here. If we get more funds that is great! We can use that money to add in a few more bosses am sure. I really appreciate the feedback.

Also yes making an appearance. I am very shy. But I have thought about this and I think it would be a great idea! I will work on that tonight. I was thinking of me playing the game on the tablet and than looking at the camera and saying "ohh hey didn't see you there" I was watching what Kick starter suggest one of the videos and it seems that method works. Thanks again for the advice! I also did see the werewolf vampire game a bit early doing some research on K.S I will also through a few dollars your way this coming weekend.

Thanks again!

The video seems good overall, but I agree with ZompireWolf...you should put yourself in it.

Don't list KickStarter with capitalization like that...it looks odd.

I think some people are going to have a hard time taking you seriously with a $600 goal...you should probably raise that.

Good luck!

Ok well We would love a bigger goal, but I really don't want to ask for a crazy amount when needed. If we raised about 1500 I could expand the game and easily add on another 30 minutes of gameplay which would include a 2 new levels and 2 new bosses.

What are your thoughts on the goal amount? I just don't want to fail this campaign. It really means a lot to me to put a good adventure game on the market with no API.

I think that would be a more respectable number.

Ok Any idea on how i can explain where the extra funds will go.

Am thinking about something like the 600 goes towards developer fees just like I have on the page already,
Than the remaining amount is going to be able to add 2 new levels, with 2 more bosses expanding the game time by at least 30 minutes for your enjoyment.

What do you think?

Wife?? Ok I was not expecting that. My suggestion here is write what you want and then hand it over to someone who can edit it down. After all your time and effort, don't fall down due to the fact you want to get ALL the info out there. People don't have time. Short and snappy! Also, as important as it seems to you... the API thing is not a huge selling point. Also also... I wouldn't call it API. General Joe doesn't know what that is and General Joe is your audience. Just say "This game has no game restrictions and no in-app purchases." Short and snappy!

If your shy, maybe putting yourself out there to get money from strangers isn't the best plan! We don't want your life story... 5 seconds max. "Hi my name is John Doe and I'm very proud to introduce **Cut to game title screen** The Sacred Stone: A Story Adventure". We did something like that... top and tail! "Thanks so much for watching my Kickstarter video. Every pledge makes my wife super happy!" Easy. If you really are that shy... get a friend. Someone will stand in for you if you ask them.

Agree that $600 is underselling but know the situation your in. We asked for €15,000 (about $17,000) for our mobile game and are nearly there with a week to go but if I was to go back again, I would ask for a lower amount and try to stretch it up. I'd stick with the $600 so you can release the game but pick a number in your head (say $5,000) and act the whole way through that if you don't get there, it has been a personal failure. That way you won't stop pushing once you reach your goal! Once you get to $600, use it as a tool to push on for stretch goals for the 2 new bosses or levels.

The game looks really good but now you need to sell it!

Would appreciate any pledge! We're close to being the first Irish mobile game to be successfully funded so pretty happy about that. Thanks!

Thanks ZompireWolf.

Yes my wife is excellent in the field of editing. She just started though.

I like your idea about just saying hi for a few seconds. But I think I might go a little beyond. I will make a couple of videos and post it on here to gather feedback from you all!

Agreed on the API and I will change that out with your suggestion. May I ask how you have been targeting your audience, and what have you been doing during the time of launch? Basically am asking what I should be doing when the project launches on kickstarter. I understand about emails and tweeting, but I have been reading people work around the clock and I guess I just don't see where I exactly work around the clock.

Any advice on that would be great. I will change the text with your suggestions, and tomorrow I will make a few videos and post them here, and any advice would be great!

After my wife proof reads everything am going to have someone else look over it too, I have been reading that have a few people look over it.

I really do appreciate your help!

Also to clarify on my wife, I am the one indeed writing everything, she is just the one editing it down. You should have seen it earlier. Way to much info.