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Hi. My name is Piet, I've quit my job 1.5 years ago to work on my dream project; a strategy-action videogame. The development has gone well, but I've ran out of funds and still have a few months of development to go.

Anyways, I'm about to start a Kickstarter campaign, and would like some feedback on the campaign.

You can find it here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1551791595/2044600817?token=aa0cc8c9

ANY feedback whatsoever is welcome. Thank you in advance!

This post has been moved to the General Chat + Introduce Yourself section.

1. The project image is bright, colorful, and vibrant. Very nice!

2. Be sure to include a project video. It helps your project's chances of being successfully funded, noticeably, if you include one.

3. That pie chart image is great! That is an excellent example of visual eye candy. The eye just gobbles it up.

4. What is up with your project reward levels? Include some standard monetary unit denominations in your reward level ($5, $10, $20, etc.).

5. To capture a wider range of lower level pledges, set reward levels for $1, $2, $3, $4, $5. Here's why - While a person can click your "Back this project" button and then type in whatever amount that they want to back you at, that requires initiative on their part. You want to simplify the equation. Most of the pledges that I, myself, make to Kickstarter projects tend to be at the lower end of the pledging spectrum. Thus, I tend to be more tempted to pledge more than a single dollar, if project creators toss those additional lures of interest in the water to catch my eye with.

For bigger pledges, consult Magnus, as he tends to focus upon that segment of the pledging public. He's posted good advice, before.

Big pledges are great, if the goal is to drive the money gathering, itself. But, if you want to drive the crowd building aspect, then to populate the backer figure with larger numbers, you can't simply ignore the potential of the lower end of the pledging spectrum.

Most project creators want to meet their funding goal, first and foremost. They don't tend to really care so much about the other details, although they all obviously want to gain as many backers and as much funding as they can achieve.

6. The "Who Are We?" art image is a nice touch. Things like that are visually interesting. They draw the eye in. They make people linger, which translates into them spending more time on your project page than otherwise might be the case without them.

The oversized Facebook and Twitter buttons are a nice touch. They grab the eye, and I clicked on both. Your Twitter page has that big and colorful image at the top, and as I scroll down it, more color. Nice. Your Facebook page, I liked it, while passing through. A quick scroll yields images and color, which is always a plus for grabbing the eye.

7. This image sucks:



I can't read it. You can do much better. It's part of your project page, and everything on a project page plays a roll in the potential success of a project.

8. Your draft project page is a miserable failure at building up the personal interest aspect. There is the product or service aspect of a project page, and there is the personal aspect of a project page. If they fail to connect with the product or the service, then you still want them to connect with the YOU aspect of it. No photographs of you or the team (if there is an actual team). Seven people on the team, all depicted in the caricatures, yet not one photograph. No photos of the setting, nor of the computers or tools, nor of anything in the real world. FAIL!! Somebody grab a camera and start shooting, for crying out loud. Make the page visually interesting, from a personal point of view. You have a cat with seven legs? Put that on there. You burnt a marshmallow, put it on there. The point is this: You not only have a project, you have a story. That story has a real world element to it. You want to build a community around your project, right? That requires real people. Real people can relate to other real people. It helps to make your project stand out in their eyes, their minds, and their memories as being more unique. Or are you guys unique? Is your story unique? Visually, at present, that end of it doesn't even exist.

9. Look at your project image. Greta image, right? Give yourself a pat yourself on the back. You've earned it.

Now, scroll down your project page, and compare the other images there to the project image. How many of them really compare, visually, to it? That's right - none. Now, give yourself a swift kick in the ass. You've earned it, also. More importantly, put some thought into it, and then address that shortcoming of your draft project page. Even one or two more images along that same level of visual interest can really help to rev the visual energy of a project page up.

What you want is visual dominance of the eye. You are at war for the interest of the public at large. Fight to grab - and retain - their attention.

10. Your project spiel is this:

An action packed strategic videogame inside of a tainted human body with delightful hand drawn animations and plenty of humor.

Say that three times, really fast. You might want to consider rewording it, and possibly reducing the length of it. At a minimum, make it less boring. This is the equivalent of your project's slogan, after all, if you pause and think about it. It is the short sell, in text format. Forget everything else - how do you make this section that is pure text grab the eye and retain their attention? It's text bait. To catch the right fish, use the right bait. You can't use images here. You have to use text. Again, everything on the project page plays a role in your project's success.

Also, is videogame one word or two? Videogame or video game?

Wow, Charles. That's a whole lot of feedback. Fantastic!

Can't you see the project video? That's strange, I can. Maybe because it's a preview page? You can check it at Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/123507868. Password = "yada". If you don't mind, please check it out, I think it's the most important part.

1. and 3.: Thanks!

4. This is a difficult one. We are building a mobile game (which will also be ported for desktop computers later on). We will sell it for a small price, as the market demands. A $5 reward seemed like a bit to low for a tier including a copy of the game, a $10 tier a bit too much. That's why I decided for a $8 reward that includes the game. The other 7 first rewards and on multiplications of 4 for that reason.
Does it bother you a lot?

5. Ok, good advice. I'll talk to my team to expand the rewards under $10.

6. Happy you clicked on the social media buttons! As most people here, I suppose, I am struggling to build a big community. So I'm happy they help.

7. I agree, I didn't care too much about that one. Was too busy with the 'important' stuff on the page. Let's call it tunnel vision ^^. Will change it.

8. In the page, I have focussed more on the project, not a lot on the team. In the video I quickly introduce the team (at about 2:30). You can also see plenty of me, and the story is introduced. But I do admit, the team is a bit in the background. After you've seen the video, do you still feel as strong about this?
Also, I've made some video's for my devblog: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9V_QZ ... 8Uiry3y0mA. Do you think it's a good idea to add them to the page?

9. Fair enough! I will add more detailed art from the game. And/or screenshots.

10. True. Will rethink that one.

Apparently, it's in two words. English is not my first language. I would let a pro proof read my texts, but I think my bad euro English makes me more human. (I really don't, I'm just trying to sweet talk my laziness)

7. *logo = updated*

10. *slogan = updated*

8. I've added pictures of the team members. They link to a page on our blog with more information about each person.

Sector32 wrote:Wow, Charles. That's a whole lot of feedback. Fantastic!

Not a whole lot, from my perspective, but if it is helpful to you, then it doesn't matter.

Sector32 wrote:Can't you see the project video? That's strange, I can. Maybe because it's a preview page? You can check it at Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/123507868. Password = "yada". If you don't mind, please check it out, I think it's the most important part.

It could have simply been that the page didn't load fully in my web browser, last night. The video is there, and I did watch it. It maintained my interest, all of the way through it.

Sector32 wrote:1. and 3.: Thanks!

You're welcome.

Sector32 wrote:4. This is a difficult one. We are building a mobile game (which will also be ported for desktop computers later on). We will sell it for a small price, as the market demands. A $5 reward seemed like a bit to low for a tier including a copy of the game, a $10 tier a bit too much. That's why I decided for a $8 reward that includes the game. The other 7 first rewards and on multiplications of 4 for that reason.
Does it bother you a lot?

It doesn't bother me a whole lot, in any event, but that is a separate matter from the feedback that I provide.

You miss the point about the lower tier rewards, however. Typically, I couldn't care less about the actual rewards being offered. Granted, some do. But, if the objective is to maximize funding, then you might want to consider that reward tiers are not simply about rewards. More fundamental than that, they serve as mechanisms to attract attention, and to bring to fruition the achievement of backers.

Lower end reward tiers are less about generating funds than they are about generating backers. If you have two backers, and one pledges one hundred dollars and the other one pledges one dollar, then the one pledging a hundred times as much as the other is of far greater value to your campaign.

But, that's only if you are focused upon funding generated, directly, on a per-backer basis.

For the sake of illustrating a point, which would be better for your crowdfunding campaign? One backer pledging one hundred dollars, or one hundred backers pledging one dollar each? It is only by looking past the fact that a dollar pledge by one backer equates to one additional dollar in your campaign's pocket, that one can better appreciate that there are multiple dynamics in play, where a given backer is concerned.

Is it better to have one share of your project, or a hundred shares? Not that everyone will share your project (most likely won't, in fact), but if you are considering possibilities, which is the better prospect to be faced with?

What is the potential network capability, in terms of human-to-human connections, comparing one large funding backer to a multitude of low finding backers?

Ideally, a given crowdfunding campaign will go viral. That tends to require more than just reaching - or exceeding - your funding goal. To accomplish that requires human numbers, more so than money numbers.

The vast majority of crowdfunding projects don't go viral, and have no hope of going viral. A large bulk of crowdfunding projects tend to have relatively small crowds that they achieve. As long as the project is successfully funded, then you're fine, regardless of your overall number of backers.

How many of your potential backers do you think will fund you with large pledges? Will there be more pledging large amounts, or more pledging small amounts? It might end up being somewhere in the middle, but at launch, you don't actually know. There's no way to quantify it in actual numbers, either way.

Number of backers helps your project to achieve momentum, and to make its way onto various lists. It is a point of data, after all, and it matters to those who create such lists - particularly if they have software doing all of the work for them.

Additionally, while reaching increments of funding can provide a talking point for your crowdfunding campaign, so can reaching increments of backers. A lot of people that encounter your project either won't pledge large amounts, or they can't pledge large amounts. Yet, do you still want them to buy in to your project?

The more backers that your project gains, aside from just helping you on the momentum front, it can also boost you on the self-confidence front. Confidence beats doubt, every time. Plus, confidence can be a primary catalyst for achieving - and growing - enthusiasm across your campaign.

Sector32 wrote:5. Ok, good advice. I'll talk to my team to expand the rewards under $10.

Again, don't think of it simply in terms of rewards. Each reward tier is an opportunity to engage prospective backers. It tends to be beneficial, when people feel as though they are being given actual choices. An actual choice does not have to translate into a physical reward, one that costs money to create and to ship.

Sector32 wrote:6. Happy you clicked on the social media buttons! As most people here, I suppose, I am struggling to build a big community. So I'm happy they help.

So, the desire is to build a big community, huh? Think about that, and then ponder anew the importance of low tier reward pledges. Each backer is a part of that big community. I would also point out that a community for a given crowdfunding effort isn't necessarily limited to just and only the individuals who actually back the project, although that's often the way that project creators have a tendency to measure their project's community.

Sector32 wrote:7. I agree, I didn't care too much about that one. Was too busy with the 'important' stuff on the page. Let's call it tunnel vision ^^. Will change it.

OK.

Sector32 wrote:8. In the page, I have focussed more on the project, not a lot on the team. In the video I quickly introduce the team (at about 2:30). You can also see plenty of me, and the story is introduced. But I do admit, the team is a bit in the background. After you've seen the video, do you still feel as strong about this?
Also, I've made some video's for my devblog: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9V_QZ ... 8Uiry3y0mA. Do you think it's a good idea to add them to the page?

The Polaroid type photographs that you posted of the team are great, as is the method that you used to post them. They look like the ones in the video, only displayed differently on the project page. On the team page on your website, however, no photograph corresponds to the caricature images of each team member.

Do I think that you still underplay the team aspect? Yep, I sure do. I still don't think that the personal connection is there to a very strong degree.

Sector32 wrote:9. Fair enough! I will add more detailed art from the game. And/or screenshots.

I can't say that I am a fan of those animated pieces that you added. Why? They get annoying at that size, pretty fast. There's a reason that animated GIFs are not so "in vogue," anymore, as they were once upon a time ago.

Sector32 wrote:10. True. Will rethink that one.

I see that you've changed the spiel to:

An action packed video game inside of a dirty human body.

How very.......drab. The concept is accurate, but the impact is lacking.

Sector32 wrote:Apparently, it's in two words. English is not my first language. I would let a pro proof read my texts, but I think my bad euro English makes me more human. (I really don't, I'm just trying to sweet talk my laziness)

Your English is fine - and your accent is a plus. Nice socks, also, by the way.

It doesn't bother me a whole lot, in any event, but that is a separate matter from the feedback that I provide. ... ... ... Plus, confidence can be a primary catalyst for achieving - and growing - enthusiasm across your campaign.

Point definitely came across this time! The rewards are re-done. Not in the extent you suggested, but still. There are 4 rewards under $10 dollars now, each double the amount of the previous one ($1, $2, $4, $8). The $8 dollar is already kind of a big step from the $4 reward, but I feel it can convince people quite easily, as it gets you a copy of the game when it's finished.

So, the desire is to build a big community, huh? Think about that, and then ponder anew the importance of low tier reward pledges. Each backer is a part of that big community. I would also point out that a community for a given crowdfunding effort isn't necessarily limited to just and only the individuals who actually back the project, although that's often the way that project creators have a tendency to measure their project's community.

Well, It's true. I saw the building of a community (step 1) and getting funds with Kickstarter (step 2) as two different steps. I just so desperately need the funds to complete the project. But you showed me the light. Kickstarter can be about building/expanding the community. I will keep that in mind when I create update video's.

I can't say that I am a fan of those animated pieces that you added. Why? They get annoying at that size, pretty fast. There's a reason that animated GIFs are not so "in vogue," anymore, as they were once upon a time ago.

I'm old. I remember making websites in the previous century, and spicing them up with cheesy animated GIFs. Pete would have loved them. Right now, I love it even more. I think it just fits with the 80's style I do all the advertising in. They are cheesy and ugly-ish, but in a good way. And they bring color to the page, in my opinion.

I see that you've changed the spiel to:
An action packed video game inside of a dirty human body.
How very.......drab. The concept is accurate, but the impact is lacking.

After (too) many slogans on different media, it kinda feels good to have a short uncomplicated one that says it all in just a few words. Admitted, it's not too sexy. It might just be changed. Again ^^

Your English is fine - and your accent is a plus. Nice socks, also, by the way.

They are great, aren't they? I have a matching t-shirt. My wife hates it. I wear it all the time.


Anyways, I don't know if you agree with everything I have changed, but I am certain the page changed for the better. I'm new at this, and I'm splitting my brain between freelancing to put food in my children's mouths, doing the fund raising, advertising, project management and development of the game. Sometimes I need some pointers to get me out of my tunnel vision.

I am grateful to get help from people like you, who I don't even know and have nothing to gain with helping me.

So, thank you a bunch!

Sector32 wrote:Anyways, I don't know if you agree with everything I have changed, but I am certain the page changed for the better. I'm new at this, and I'm splitting my brain between freelancing to put food in my children's mouths, doing the fund raising, advertising, project management and development of the game. Sometimes I need some pointers to get me out of my tunnel vision.

I am grateful to get help from people like you, who I don't even know and have nothing to gain with helping me.

So, thank you a bunch!

Sure thing.

It's not about agreeing with everything. It's about getting feedback, trying to locate and at least consider potential shortcomings, and making revisions where both needed and desired.

It's YOUR crowdfunding project, so you have to be the one that makes any final judgment caklls regarding it.

Best of luck to you with it!

FYI: My designer doesn't like the animated GIFs either ^^. Back to the drawing board.