Help: constructive feedback wanted
  • ksampson
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    Help: constructive feedback wanted

    by ksampson » Mon Sep 08, 2014 11:01 am

    Hi! We're heading in to week two of our campaign and I'd love to get some feedback on the project page! We've made a few changes to it since we started. I'd like to know if you understand the project? Is it visually appealing? What could be improved? What do you think works well? Thanks ahead of time for the constructive feedback!

    http://kck.st/1pkqLIi


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    Charles
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    Re: Help: constructive feedback wanted

    by Charles » Mon Sep 08, 2014 3:52 pm

    1. Your new project image has less visual appeal than the last one.

    Kickstarter is a visual medium, yet you have made the conscious decision to go with an all-text project image. Plus, you obliterate part of the text, to make a point. OK, now shrink that project image down to the thumbnail size that Kickstarter uses, which most people will probably encounter, and tell me how much visual impact that project image now carries.

    2. The young guy with the blue jack and smile, he looks nice. It looks like stock footage, but it looks nice. The image of the guy with the frumpy look, that one doesn't look as nice. Why? Because, the frumpy look makes him look grumpy, which sends a negative visual message. The first thing that page visitors to your project page see, when they begin to scroll down, is the frumpy-looking guy. Part of it is caused by the angle of the camera shot, but as the saying goes, it is what it is.

    3. You have one image which is worth pondering:

    Image

    Thus, you are advocating in favor of diversity, utilizing a project page that is lacking in, what else, diversity. In fairness, though, it's not a people-centric visual presentation to any real degree, so that acts as a mitigating factor. Yet, it doesn't alter the visual calculus, Kevin.


    Forget all of the text on the project page, for a moment. Look only at the visual imagery on display. Does it impress you? If it doesn't, then will it be likely to impress others?

    You're talking to people, but they will tune you out, if you convey your message in the current manner. If your project page is visually boring, then do you think that they will assume that your documentary won't be?

    Your issue is a people issue, at its core. Yet, your project page says, "Has not connected Facebook." Is that part of your outreach? You're sending a message that there is a disconnect, with that one line, alone. The message generates automatically, I know. But, the choice and decision was yours.

    Below it is the link to the project's Facebook page (which is distinguished from your personal Facebook page). Clicking on it brings me to a page where the very first thing that dominates my eyes is disjointed text. Not people, but text.

    Tell me this, Kevin, how do you intend to raise social awareness by not investing heavily in people-centric imagery? Your chosen approach makes your project page look lonely, not the headquarters of some important issue of our day.

    You're not selling a product, so much as you are selling an idea. Once upon a time ago, a fellow by the name of Martin Luther King, Jr. had an idea that he wanted to sell. His idea was a dream.

    He was people-centric. His approach was people-centric.

    You're not MLK, so you have to come up with your own approach. You cite statistics. He moved people. You have the advantage of Internet access to the masses. He didn't have it quite so easy.

    Yet, he still moved people. His communication method stirred people to action. Your project's Facebook page has what? 180 likes, right now?

    Your approach looks canned. That's why it's ineffective, I think. But, in fairness, you have an uphill climb, due to the nature of your project which you've chosen to undertake.

    All statistics aside, what's the urgency? Is it urgent? Your project page doesn't look urgent. It doesn't feel urgent. It either is an urgent issue, or it is not.

    Those hundred dollar t-shirts, limited edition as you call them, do you believe that is how you will mobilize people as a mass to stand up and take note and to act? I get that they are a reward for a pledge level, as many Kickstarter projects use. But, what if the people who share your view on this issue can't afford to pledge a cool C-note?

    Your lowest pledge level is five bucks. What if they don't have five bucks?

    I watched the video. Your video approach is better than your static image approach, where your project page is concerned, but even still, it is problematic, from my perspective. The quality of the video is actually higher than the quality of the PictureLock promo video that you are in. But, there's actually other people in it, so all things considered, it's the better video out of the two.

    I can comment more on the video, if you like, but it probably won't be today.
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  • ksampson
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    Re: Help: constructive feedback wanted

    by ksampson » Mon Sep 08, 2014 5:38 pm

    Charles wrote:1. Your new project image has less visual appeal than the last one.

    Kickstarter is a visual medium....


    Thanks as always for your in depth analysis Charles!
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    diynf
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    Re: Help: constructive feedback wanted

    by diynf » Wed Sep 10, 2014 8:47 am

    I looked at both of your Kickstarter pages and it seems like there is a lot going on. You have a good cause and I think sometimes when we are passionate about something, we forget to speak with that same passion because we simply want other people to understand what we´re saying, and there is of course always so much to say. Try to really outline what it is you want to say. The basis of your project. The visual imagery is great but it captivates the viewers eyes and nothing else. I agree with Charles statement that ¨Your chosen approach makes your project page look lonely, not the headquarters of some important issue of our day¨. And it is a very important issue that deserves attention. Hope you get some helpful advice on this thread, I´ve found it extremely helpful at least. Best of luck on your journey Kevin.
    -Sally
  • ksampson
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    Re: Help: constructive feedback wanted

    by ksampson » Wed Sep 10, 2014 1:40 pm

    Thanks for your thoughts Sally! You and Charles have given me great feedback. I'm working on revamping things today. Very much appreciated.

    Kevin
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    Charles
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    Re: Help: constructive feedback wanted

    by Charles » Fri Sep 12, 2014 1:14 pm

    The new project image looks good. On the small thumbnail version of that image, though, the thin font used for the lettering doesn't have as much visual impact. Part of that is caused by your use of shadow on the lettering, though. Replace the shadow effect with a solid black border several pixels wide, and the lettering will stand out more.

    Also, the PLAY button for your video overlaps your text, obscuring a portion of it.

    When I loaded your page, today, that new project image wasn't something that I was expecting to see. It was a big visual plus, for me.
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  • ksampson
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    Re: Help: constructive feedback wanted

    by ksampson » Fri Sep 12, 2014 1:37 pm

    Thanks for your feedback on the image Charles! I will re-work the project image. Those are helpful pointers. I was having issues with the drop shadow, so a stroke may be the key! Thanks for checking in on the page again, I'm still working on improving it.
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    Charles
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    Re: Help: constructive feedback wanted

    by Charles » Fri Sep 12, 2014 1:46 pm

    You do realize, though, that the new project image, while being people-centric, is lacking in the very diversity that you lament about in the film industry.
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  • ksampson
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    Re: Help: constructive feedback wanted

    by ksampson » Fri Sep 12, 2014 2:01 pm

    I do. Until I can reshoot the video I have to keep in line w/ what I said. I do want to broaden the scope to include all minorities which keeps in line w/ diversity and the overall goal. Once that happens, I'll change everything to reflect that.
  • RICSB
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    Re: Help: constructive feedback wanted

    by RICSB » Fri Sep 12, 2014 2:09 pm

    I am new to this forum but would also love some constructive feedback on my new Kickstarter campaign after seeing how knowledgeable everyone is here. I have been live for 3 days and seem to have little action. I planned ahead with pages on Prefundia, Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, etc. I would be very appreciative if anyone could check out my campaign and let me know if you have any suggestions. http://kck.st/1qCvLhh

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