Hi Jimmy,
Thanks for your feedback. I have some suggestions for you as well on your project. I really love what your are doing, but I think a lot of people say that. I'm going to say some negative feedback, because constructive negative feedback makes you learn.
1. You wrote an incredibly long story, which the reader will probably not read. You should keep the story simple and sweet. Get rid of some comics. Just put the essentials in to get your message across. You don't need that blue quote at the beginning. It's just wasting space.
2. connect with facebook. You'll get a lot of your friends who will see it more and more.
3. I don't know anything about YOU. I only watched half the movie, and it was just statistics. You should put yourself first, so we get to see your face, and the faces of the people in the project. I don't know who Eric Nyamor is. I don't care, because I haven't seen his face, and I don't know what kind of artist he is and his credentials.
4. I have to say I don't like the video. It makes me bored because it's just a bunch of students walking around. It kind of feels like you didn't put any effort. (Even though I know you put A LOT OF EFFORT, you truly have!)
5. Rewards are WAY too long. On the kickstarter website, it says to keep the rewards short and sweet.
I think your idea is inspirational and wonderful. You're doing such a great thing for students in urban areas. You should get more funding than 3000 dollars, really. I actually hope you don't succeed this round. If you take a couple of months, reinvent yourself, and put forward a better approach, I think you can raise OVER 3000. Do it for the kids!
If you have any other questions, email me at
janecui11@gmail.com