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The Girl Who Carried A Mountain is a children's book come graphic novel to cover all stages of reading to your child and then watching them grow to be able to read it themselves. Follow as a young girl finds a Mountain and takes it upon herself to take it home.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/19 ... a-mountain

Best response I have received so far is from a dad with a one year old daughter "I liked the drawings and I liked the premises of the story too. I thought to myself that's the kind of book I'd like my daughter to read in the future".

I am on the stage of contacting everyone I know and as a bonus I am busy meeting lots of new people in person due to going to childrens groups during the day and speaking to all the parents there.

Hopefully there will be more to update as the days count down and if anyone has any tips or advice or even just a hello I will be around

I'd thought I'd give you your first "hello".

I'd also like to offer you some advice. The title of your project sounds amazing and conjured up thoughts of an actual strong girl carrying a huge mountain, a bit like Hercules. I also thought the drawings might be similar to those of Quentin Blake's in the Roahl Dahl books too or something a bit like the stop-start animation in Fantastic Mr Fox...so I had that in mind and took a look at your page...

I was a bit disappointed. The imagery and interest in my mind stopped after I saw the green, black and white colours. The images of the girl do not stand out at all and the transparency level on them (70% value?) bugs me a bit...not sure what you were trying to do there as it would of been great to see a clear picture.

About the Book doesn't describe much at all. Preview passages or photos of your hand written notes would go a long way. At the moment, backers are expected to back you based on a title + a couple of images.

I'll be honest and say that the images you've shown don't give the book title justice, I think a different design style using different colours would go a long way

Best of luck with your campaign!

Hi

Thank you for your feedback. I can't do anything about it not being a new Blake style idea as that's not what I am aiming for. Its a more stylised simple illustration style.

Whilst I still like the colour combination I have had a play around with the lightness of the colours (not a transparency issue more a lighter colour choice) I do agree that they work at a much brighter level.

I also like the suggestion of having a few of the original sketch ideas making an appearance and will be adding those as soon as possible with some full pages to give people a better idea of the story and introduce a few more of the characters who make an appearance.

So thank you again for taking the time to look and feed back, all feedback is valuable.

Hey mate, welcome to the forum! Here's my two cents:


The page itself doesn't have much information on it. I do understand making it simple and easy to read but backers will appreciate having lots of information. Maybe you could go into more about why you are making the book and your inspiration with the project. I also think it will be worthwhile to explain the storyline further.


The 'Risks and Challenges' section of the campaign is also important. People who back alot of projects will read this and and this alone can turn a backer off if it isn't right. I'd recommend researching other similar projects and using their work as inspiration so you can understand what I am talking about.


Lastly, the layout of the images seems slightly 'off'. Play around with a few different designs, implement the suggestions that Hyperstarter and myself have made, and let me know when that is finished and I would love to re-review your campaign page. All the best!


Kind Regards,

Jake
Team Backertree!

Hey Jake

Thanks for your input as well!

I fully get your point on the content and have tried to implement changes that build on them and tell a bit more of the story behind the idea and more about what the story itself is about.

Page look could be because they are missing the words but I will keep it in mind when I meet with the people I have sent it to to get their feedback and ask them how they feel the pages worked layout wise and if they think any moving around of anything would help children read and follow the pages.

Hopefully with the tweaks it is starting to get to a more respectable page level than where it began!

This post has been moved to the General Chat + Introduce Yourself section.

That sounds like a really great project! Good luck with it. I will try and spread the word at our little primary school! Tessa