Shipping to European backers is definitely frustrating at times. What I've found to be most useful, and share it often with those I work with, is information from Stonemaier Games. They have launched a lot of board games on Kickstarter and offer worldwide shipping. The founder, Jamey, documents in detail how to get these products to backers, including information about VAT.
Although you might not be launching board games, it's still worth understanding the process and the rules surrounding shipping to Europe. The site also offers a list of recommended fulfillment partners in each region.
I'd recommend you to read these articles to get started:
1.
https://stonemaiergames.com/kickstarter-lesson-47-this-project-is-eu-friendly/2.
https://stonemaiergames.com/5-shipping-partners-in-the-eu-for-kickstarter-reward-fulfillment/