1. Generally, I see 20-30% of pledges initially come from an individual's personal/professional network and friends/family. You need to jumpstart the funding process.
2. Correct your grammar/punctuation errors. "There is a place i know " Need a capital "I" in many sentences.
3. Break up your long paragraphs of text with headlines like: "Where will the funds go?" "Who am I?" "Why should you pledge?" See:
http://www.crowdcrux.com/copywriting-ti ... ter-pitch/"What i found when i was at my illest was that being alone in the house i craved continuity the comfort of being able to look at something interesting and it being familiar, involving and entertaining. For example a day in placa de catalunya, Barcelona waiting as it fills with tourists and for 12 hours is a filled with people from all walks of life. "
I would really recommend putting yourself in the video. You need to share these thoughts and feelings and have people see your face.