Grammar mistakes:
The SoDaptor is a simple kid-friend rocket launcher
kid-friendLY?
Made of tough rugged and durable plastic can last a lifetime
*that* can last a lifetime
It's more healthy to be outside playing with a SoDaptor than reading this KickStarter
Kickstarter is a pronoun
Dad's love to jump on them and see their paper rocket go 300'
Dad's is possessive. "Dad's rocket launcher." | Dads is plural - "Dads love rockets."
TRY: An adult averaging 175lb can get as much as 300 feet of air with a single pounce
Your bulleted list of "Why SoDapter?" seems jumbled, repetitious and lacks organization.
Suggest market sectors:
Educators:
teach lessons on geometry, physics, aeronautics, recycling
low-cost solution to adding value to your lesson plans
challenge your students to innovate based on this basic technology (aerodynamics, pressure, geometry)
experience the joy of a field trip while staying on your own field
Families:
take the SoDapter on vacation
hours of playtime fun for all ages
easy to store
reusable and recyclable materials
makes a safe and fun party activity for birthdays, carnivals, special events, etc
* * *
You talk a lot about the visibility of this product in schools, but I see no proof.
You should have an event day and film it... "Such and Such Morning School" and then get kids' reactions. You would need support from parents, teachers and the school, of course.
The biggest thing your page is lacking is the toothless enthusiasm of a kid talking about how this thing is just the greatest rocket simulator ever.
Another marketing point: many school are unfortunately strapped for cash and lack proper funds to provide learning materials around the S.T.E.M. curriculum. For a mere $19 pledge, you receive 40 ready-to-go lesson plans around rocket launch. And because this is a crowd-funded project, if I don't meet my goal, you are under no financial obligation to fund it. **- You can CALL up administrators and pitch this line**
To add to this point - where are your school endorsements? Where are the teacher endorsements? Who have you been reaching out to day-in-and-day-out to get this project the visibility it needs. Every public school has contact information for their administration, start there and ask for referrals.
"Can you think of anyone else I should talk to about this project?" OR
"Because this is a crowd-funded project, our success lies in getting as many educators on-board as possible. Can you help me with that?"This market isn't very tech-savvy, so expect more than a few conversations explaining what crowd-funding is.