by Bryce Carmony » Fri Oct 17, 2014 4:13 am
Hey!
The only thing that confused me is that in the Risk and challenges section you say " My goal" but in the section about that you say "Andrew's Goal" but the kick starter is by you, I think it's a little weird to switch between referring to yourself in the 3rd and 1st person. I think KickStarter is Personal and I'd go with "My" the whole time ( I'm assuming you wrote the Kick Starter since you're a talented writer )
I didn't really get anything from your kick starter about who you are as a writer. I think forming the personal connection quickly is what makes people want to donate.
Those are my 2 cents. I donated a buck, good luck!