by Mr. YouthWriter » Thu Aug 20, 2015 1:39 am
Daiannie, it looks and sounds like a really interesting idea; I'm always for new, eclectic communities. It's what I, myself, am hoping to inspire as a writer, young and a teenager I may be. I did notice a few things. First, on your picture about how Lazuri Owl is different, I'm pretty sure you meant to put "through real girls"; it's just a minor thing, but will throw people off. Second, I think that your rewards could use a bit sprucing up; there aren't that many of them, and while you're higher reward levels are pretty good, you start immediately at $50, which is a pretty high minimum pledge amount for most people. Finally, I would add more about you, why you've wanted to do this for so long and what really makes Lazuri Owl shine, in the text; there's not much detail about it. Also, I'd put more things under the risks and rewards, that way people feel like there's something you have to overcome, and they'll want to support you more for it. Just a few of my thoughts, and I really hope you succeed! If you have a Twitter, I'd love to follow and retweet you.