by Charles » Fri Apr 17, 2015 2:41 pm
1. Your project page is visually bland, visually boring. It lacks color and vibrancy. Visually, it is closer to death than to life. When I load your project page and do a quick scroll down, two things impress themselves upon me. First, your project page is a hue of grays, image-wise, which reminds me of when it is cloudy weather. Second, your project page is visually dominated by two sizable masses of text. And who wants to read a bunch of text, right?
2. You do make some use of impacting techniques, where your bolding of certain text tidbits is concerned. But, because you herd your text together like cattle, reading it is about as inviting as chewing on grass.
3. The funding end of things actually looks pretty good, for this stage of your crowdfunding campaign. According to the Kicktraq data for your project, your project's funding pledges increased by a thousand dollars on April 15th, 2015, even though your project gained no additional backers that day. People join and leave crowdfunding campaigns all of the time. Just curious, though, but why did you not do an update, after that substantial increase in your funding pledges?
4. Clicking on the "Share this project" button/link on your project page yields a grand total of sixty-three Facebook shares for your project. Your word of mouth campaign is in need of substantial boosting. I don't drink coffee, but many people do. To support your Kickstasrter, though, it is necessary that they at least know about it.
5. You don't need thousands of backers, in order to get this project successfully funded. A few dozen will easily suffice.
6. Your project video is over eight minutes long. Really?! I clicked on it, noticed how long that it was, and then I clicked it off. One thing that I did take note of in that span of several seconds, however, was that you are wearing a colorful blouse or dress. Also, on your Facebook page, your Facebook cover image at the top of your Facebook page is a picture of a rainbow. Yet, your project page is virtually bereft of color. Set before you as a Kickstarter project creator is the choice of color or no color. Color is life. It is livelier. It grabs the eye quicker. Before you is set both visual life and visual death, therefore choose life.
7. Your project page seeks to craft a message, to tell a story, yet it is lacking in the human element, visually speaking. Because it is lacking the human element, it automatically comes across as less personal, which is the exact opposite of what you want to strive for.
Yes, people can and will relate to the biblical passages that you quoted on your project page - assuming, of course, that they will even see them, as they quickly scroll down and browse. If people will quickly click off of a web page that they visit, do you think that they won't be just as quick to click off a Kickstarter page that they visit?
Visually speaking, what about your project page is supposed to persuade page visitors to not just click your page off?
8. On your Facebook posting of April 8th, 2015, you stated:
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Friends. This.is.HUGE. I know I might be wearing my heart on my sleeve, but I gotta be honest...this is a huge leap of faith for me and really challenging my fears. Living #unashamed this year means asking for help and having the courage to talk to a camera. Will you consider helping us?
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Choosing to wear your heart on your sleeve comes at a price. Shame appertains to pride, and pride cometh before destruction, it has been said. Furthermore, you are not given the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. So, why not approach your crowdfunding project that way?
That said, this posting, as well as what you post on your "The Monroe Post" blog, is vastly more persuasive, in terms of imbuing what you say with the human element. The human element lies at the very nexus of your story. There is your project, and there is your story. You should never confuse the two, because they aren't the exact, same thing.
You and your husband honeymooned in Seattle, because of your mutual love for coffee. That's romantic - yet, this element of romanticism fails to make its way onto your Kickstarter project page, a project that is about, of all things, coffee! Go figure.
When you post a kitchen update, you inject bright and vibrant yellow from lemons on your non-project blog posting.
Elyse, at two years old, knows how to attack a miracle pop with vigor. Yet, where is the vigor on your Kickstarter project page?
For someone who lives life on the edge of insanity, your Kickstarter project page is all the poorer for not being injected with a hefty dose of that very same insanity - the insanity of life. Instead, you've chosen to play it safe, and to make it extra boring. That you've inter-spliced the masses of text with quotes from the Bible doesn't make it any the less boring. And don't try to blame it on Joy-Robber, either, Erica.
A woman named Elizabeth Barrett Browning posed the question, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." In your valentine ode to your husband, under item number four, you specifically stated, "He is always rising to the challenge." Your Kickstarter project page is a challenge. Shall you rise to the challenge that it represents?
Doubt is a gift from God, though in truth, many tend to look upon it as more of a curse than a blessing.
Ultimately, of course, there is the possibility that your Kickstarter may not just meet its funding goal, but exceed it, as well. Then again, if you're giving project page visitors the visual equivalent of rice paper, then it should come as no surprise to you that they fail to be persuaded that it is snow.
I've seen you hold the moon in your hand. Really, Erica, how difficult can getting this Kickstarter project funded be?
Unless, of course, you're just trying to sell them on the coffee.
Because, if you are, then you've blown it, already.
You have eyes, yet you see not. The only thing that's really wrong with your Kickstarter project page is that it doesn't have enough of your heart and soul poured into it, yet.
I'll close this by telling you a story. A couple of years ago, someone asked, "What's ACTUALLY inside the jar?"
That jar is your Kickstarter project, Erica. So, I'll ask you - What's inside your jar?
At 50% of funding, is your jar half full or half empty?